The Best, Most Amazing Piece of X-Men FanFiction
by BerryQueen
Summary: "The Best Most Amazing Piece of X-Men FanFiction Ever Written" It really is ;)


**The Best, Most Amazing Piece of X-Men FanFiction Ever Written. **

By Berry

Author's Notes: No, I don't own the X-Men but I feel like I should be doing shout outs or something.  Word up.

_The Best, Most Amazing Piece of X-Men FanFiction Ever Written._

_By CoolWheels87_

_Cyclops:  Hey guys._

_X-Men: Hello leader._

_Wolverine: Hello leader boy.  Ha ha ha._

_Rogue: Ah do declare, yer funny._

_Cyclops: Okay guys, settle down.  I have news._

_Jean Grey: Of what my husband Scott?_

_Gambit: Yes.  Gambit want to know dat every t'ing be okay._

_Storm: By the goddess!  Tell us._

_X-Men: Yes.  Please tell us._

_Cyclops:  I think it's time we disband._

_X-Men: What?!?_

_Psylocke: Why Scott?_

_Cyclops: We have grown as people and it's time we try and keep the dream alive by living.  We're cooped up inside and only fight bad guys.  It's time we get out in the world and start living the dream._

_Jean: Oh Scott!  I agree with you!  I love you so much!_

_Cyclops: Oh Jean, I love you too!_

_Jean: Okay, I'll help pack up our stuff in the boathouse then. _

_Cyclops: I'll go with you then.  Bye guys!_

_X-Men: Bye!!_

_Storm: By the goddess!  What shall we do know?_

_Psylocke: I am going to go back to England then with Warren.  I am pregnant with his child._

_Rogue: Congratulations!!_

_Psylocke: Thank you!!  Come on Warren, we'll be late for our flight._

_Angel: I'll fly us._

_X-Men: Ha ha ha!!_

_Wolverine: I'm going to go back to Canada.  There is much I need to know about my past that I don't remember._

_X-Men: Bye Logan!!_

_Beast: I just got an offer to work at a real college!  I am so happy!  I better go pack my things then._

_Gambit: Gambit got one t'ing to say dough before Gambit lose de chance ta say what he wants to say.  Rogue cherie, will you marry Gambit?_

_Rogue: Ah will!!_

_X-Men: Yippie!!_

_Storm: I guess I will go pack my things as well.  I am going to miss this place._

_Prof Xavier: I am so proud of my children, to see them all grown up and going out in the world to live their dreams.  What will I do with the place all to myself?  I guess I will have to call Lilandra and see if she would like to spend time with me then._

_The End._

*      *      *

            Storm woke up a bit disoriented.  The blaring sun in her eyes was not helping in the mater.  _I'll fix that_ she thought.  Within moments the sunny day became an overcastted depressing shad of gray.  She rolled over in bed to find herself on top of Gambit.

            "Merde!" he groaned, playfully pushing her off of him.  "Do ya mind, I was trying ta sleep, stay on your own side Stormy…" 

            "First of all, this is my bed.  So not forget that.  And second, if you call me Stormy again, I will prevent you from fathering children for the rest of your life."   

            "Yeah, yeah, heard dat before."  He yawned, rubbing his jaw.

            She looked at her dear friend.  He was still dressed in the clothing he'd worn out last night; a long sleeve dark red dress shirt and tight worn-in jeans.  His favorite pair, she mused.  "Big date last night?"

            "Sleep now, talk later."  He pulled her down to the bed, throwing the sheets back over her.   

            She wasn't going to let him off the hook that easy.  She playfully began poking him in the stomach.  "How'd it go?"

            "Saints, if ya stop doing dat I'll tell you."  She smirked.  "Cheater."

            "I did not do anything that I have not learned from you Remy."

            "Yeah well don' do what I do.  Ya want people to think you're a scoundrel?"

            She grinned, pushing him off the bed.  "Were you still talking?"

            "Now ya gone and done it chere.  I-"  He trailed off.

             "You what?"

            He held up a few pieces of paper stapled together as she made her way to the edge of her bed.  "Dis was stashed under your door.  What is it?"

            "I do not know.  Perhaps a note from someone?"

            He eyed her.  "Like a secret crush?  Don' tell me Logan got a thing for you Stormy."

            "I hope not.  Could you imagine Logan and I together?  Goddess, he would probably beg me to dye my hair red," she gagged.  "Remy, hand me my letter."

            Remy was already well into reading it.  "I don't think it's a love letter Stormy."

            "Well, then what is it?"

            "I think…," he stared up at her perplexed.  "I think it's fanfiction about us."

*      *      *

            _That can't be right._  He hit reload button on his browser and waited.  And waited some more.  _For someone with as much money as myself, I really should up grade to a cable modem or something_ he thought absent-mindedly.   

            The page reloaded the same.  Only two little reviews for his fanfiction "**The Best, Most Amazing Piece of X-Men FanFiction Ever Written**" stared back at him from the page mocking him.  They ranged from "write more" to "good" both from anonymous people.  

Prof X slummed back in his wheelchair depressed.

*      *      *

            "Okay, everyone, shut up!" Cyclops demanded, trying to calm the group.  It seems everyone on the team had gotten the same printed-out story shoved underneath their doors that morning.

            "I don't even talk in third person!!" Gambit huffed.  "De next story I see like dat, I'm gonna go insane!"

            "'Ah do declare'?  Ah may be from the South, but Ah'm not from the 1700's!"

            "It's not like I worship Scott, I have a mind of my own," Jean fumed.

            "Did you not understand the moral of the story my children?"  The team watched as Prof X wheeled himself into the room.

            Logan spoke up for the first time that morning.  "There was a moral story in this crap bub?"

            "Yes, you all got lives and stopped living under my roof rent free."

            "Professor!" Scott gasped.

            "I'm 87 years old, I'd like to enjoy my golden years before I'm dead.  There's only so much of your ongoing drama and constant bickering that I can deal with.  Is it too much to ask for my X-Men?"

            "You could have just told us Professor, why write this story?  It's not like Betsy is actually pregnant."

            Psylocke shifted uncomfortably.  "Um, actually Warren…"

            "What?!" he choked.  "You can't be pregnant, we haven't had sex in…"  His eyes narrowed as she bit her lip.  "Who's the father?"

            She looked down at the expensive 18th century rug.  "Scott is."

            A fight broke out between Cyclops, Angel, Jean & Psylocke.  Ignore them, Prof X turned to Rogue.  "Here," he stated tossing her a bracelet.  "That will let you control your mutant powers.  I had Hank make it very simple for you Rogue, it's got an on and off switch.  Turn it on, and your powers go away and you can have as much sex with Gambit as you like.  There's no time limit to how long it has to be on, or duration of when you can use it."

            "Professah!!  Mah powers are psychological, having sex with Remy isn't going to solve all mah problems!"

            "No, you're probably right, but you'll feel a lot better Rogue."

            Rogue's jaw hit the floor in a mix of embarrassment and outrage as he turned to Hank.  "I got you a job at Harvard."

            "Um… okay."  Hank gave a quick nod and then went to go break Scott of out Jean's nasty headlock.

            Prof X addressed Wolverine & Storm.  "Logan, Storm, hook up and just deal.  It seems everyone and their mom wants the two of you to just get it over with on fanfiction.net."

            "Goddess, I am not about to have sex with a human carpet!"  But by then Professor Xavier had already made it to the elevator.

*      *      *

            _Five hours later and still no new reviews.  What am I doing wrong?  _Xavier began working out chapter two of "**The Best, Most Amazing Piece of X-Men FanFiction Ever Written**"

The Best, Most Amazing Piece of X-Men FanFiction Ever Written: Chapter 2 

_By CoolWheels87_

_            Thunderbird 3 & Slipstream died horribly painful deaths, their screams could be heard for miles._

_The End._

*      *      *

            Rogue looked up at her sweaty lover with a shy smile.  He inturn gave her a sly grin as his mouth began nuzzling at her neck.  His skilled fingers worked themselves down south causing Rogue to throw her head back against the pillow and cry out Remy's name again.  She'd stopped counted around orgasm twenty which was over 2 hours ago.

            "Maybe the Professah was raht about this sex stuff sugah…" she moaned, gasping for air.

*      *      *

            _What's with everyone's obsession with me ending up with Logan?_ Storm thought as she went to answer the door.  _It is like because we are the last ones left over in musical relationship chairs in the X-Mansion means we are "destined" to be together.  Give me a break!_

            "May I hel- helllupr."  Her mind went blank as the most beautiful man she'd ever seen and childhood crush stood at the doorway.

            "Hello there," he grinned.  "I'm David Bowie and, well, my car broke down.  I could use a spot of help if you don't mind…"

*      *      *

            _864 reviews?!?  In one hour?!_  As Professor Xavier watched the page load, hundreds of reviews filled the screen as fellow authors and fans of fanfiction.net wrote pages and pages of how much they loved the 2nd chapter and that it was simply the most brilliant thing ever written in the history of fanfiction.

            Xavier beamed knowing he'd finally wrote the best, most amazing piece of X-Men fanfiction ever written.

The End, cha-cha-cha!

Footnotes:  Isn't David Bowie just too hot?  He really needs to be cloned. 


End file.
